ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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