Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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