So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
