First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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