I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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