Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
