so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
