After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
