He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
