There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
