U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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