absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
