I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Alive.
So much puke
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
