do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
