Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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