How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
my being single is dangerous.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
