maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
