if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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