How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
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