I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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