At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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