hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
