I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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