I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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