If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
