and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
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Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
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seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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