Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn