I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.