smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
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Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
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Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.