we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.