so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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