I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
