In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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