Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
