I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize