dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
