i already hear my dad disowning me
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize