I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize