I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she looked like the before picture.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
