This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
