i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
