you would pick up someone in the library
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
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