he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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