Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
