she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
