Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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