It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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