No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
