hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
