Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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