Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize