Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize