i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
