She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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