Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
