He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?