Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together

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  (713): Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together http://tfl.nu/ix8i
  Replies (15) Good night (1625) Bad night (2590)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.

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  (641): I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting. http://tfl.nu/pz3u
  Replies (27) Good night (8977) Bad night (834)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.

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  (843): He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat. http://tfl.nu/b45i
  Replies (29) Good night (5287) Bad night (838)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?

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  (610): Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants? http://tfl.nu/1myu
  Replies (33) Good night (2062) Bad night (4608)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do

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  (303): other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do http://tfl.nu/c5r9
  Replies (14) Good night (5764) Bad night (1352)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.

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  (405): I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny. http://tfl.nu/uleh
  Replies (30) Good night (5693) Bad night (1132)
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  (883): View more from

  I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet

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  (883): I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet http://tfl.nu/tmsx
  Replies (7) Good night (3029) Bad night (1197)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.

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  (248): either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her. http://tfl.nu/6guc
  Replies (10) Good night (4568) Bad night (1187)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.

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  (708): Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover. http://tfl.nu/rh7v
  Replies (2) Good night (1308) Bad night (1283)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body

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  (440): I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body http://tfl.nu/gs9m
  Replies (7) Good night (1425) Bad night (436)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home

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  (608): I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home http://tfl.nu/rt92
  Replies (6) Good night (1187) Bad night (570)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me

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  (425): i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me http://tfl.nu/5vfc
  Replies (5) Good night (1040) Bad night (474)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"

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  (918): Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for" http://tfl.nu/pln7
  Replies (3) Good night (903) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up

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  (360): Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up http://tfl.nu/7s1p
  Replies (1) Good night (573) Bad night (220)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.

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  (408): We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate. http://tfl.nu/d3a6
  Replies (0) Good night (210) Bad night (369)

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