Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.

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  (410): she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby. http://tfl.nu/u78i
  Replies (55) Good night (925) Bad night (6694)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.

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  (623): I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit. http://tfl.nu/pl0y
  Replies (15) Good night (5203) Bad night (739)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose

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  (954): i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose http://tfl.nu/o30l
  Replies (19) Good night (914) Bad night (6433)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.

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  (917): I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex. http://tfl.nu/nr6p
  Replies (7) Good night (5466) Bad night (1293)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?

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  (610): So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her? http://tfl.nu/wt2f
  Replies (31) Good night (1904) Bad night (4190)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious

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  (918): It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious http://tfl.nu/z2uj
  Replies (7) Good night (1161) Bad night (2494)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.

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  (817): he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes. http://tfl.nu/jo0i
  Replies (7) Good night (1194) Bad night (3368)
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  (415): View more from California

  I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?

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  (415): I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number? http://tfl.nu/po3x
  Replies (7) Good night (9147) Bad night (1350)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING

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  (407): OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING http://tfl.nu/avf7
  Replies (4) Good night (988) Bad night (645)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?

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  (902): I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it? http://tfl.nu/w0e4
  Replies (2) Good night (698) Bad night (430)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult

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  (902): moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult http://tfl.nu/tb3l
  Replies (0) Good night (441) Bad night (504)
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  (562): View more from California

  Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.

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  (562): Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it. http://tfl.nu/uvne
  Replies (0) Good night (665) Bad night (329)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?

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  (302): I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka? http://tfl.nu/42g5
  Replies (3) Good night (694) Bad night (344)
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  (415): View more from California

  He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands

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  (415): He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands http://tfl.nu/d99g
  Replies (17) Good night (317) Bad night (457)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend

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  (715): The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend http://tfl.nu/mjw0
  Replies (0) Good night (392) Bad night (338)

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