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• (248): View more from Michigan

  im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.

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• 

  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Me toooooo!! Margaritas

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.

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• (631): View more from New York

  I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"

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• (916): View more from California

  Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.

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• 

  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (352): View more from Florida

  Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  That one probably shouldn't have been in caps

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.

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