Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.