people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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