Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize