I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Randomize
