She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
i dont even know how to be here
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
