took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
