who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
BRING THE BAGELS
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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